The Recall Notice of all recall notices. Never
heard it put quite like this before.
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious
defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units
code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the
same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been
technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal
Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is
primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3.. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this
defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service
free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to
bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these
repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus
will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.
(Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details
on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without
correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the
unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will
result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free
emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding
to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to
prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your
attention! - GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by
notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may
contact the Father any time by 'Knee
mail'!
Because He Lives! Be completely humble and gentle, be patient,
bearing one another in love
Romans 10:13
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be
saved!
* What to do now that you have asked Jesus Christ into your
heart.
What to do next with your life - VIEW
* Once
saved always saved - VIEW
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